Boob Job

I have just created a boob out of girl's knee. To explain: Im doing an advertising campain for a well known underwear brand. Now, if you are a logical person, you'd think: I have to advertise these large bras, so i should get a model that has enough boob to actually fill the cups. Well in art director's world it doesnt work like that. They got this very pretty and rather skinny girl to model the enormous bras and the poor girl hasn't got any boobs to speak of. So now for the third day in a row i'm creating boobs to fill the cup. On this one i just made a top of the breast out of the girls bent knee. Trust me, you'd never ever be able to tell. Only I and the client will ever know. Well and the girl of course.

A week later

It was incredibly busy at work this week. I always feel like im back from war after a week of 13-14 hour days and cycling back in the dark. And we worked Sat as well. We were supposed to work on Sunday but it was canceled. Children were at my mothers and we didnt tell her about Sunday being off so we got a nice long lie in in the morning and i had most of my chores done before she brought them back. So anyway, it was a great job, i enjoyed working on it and i didnt get angry with the photographer, not even once. I had a certain freedom from him as well, he trusted me to do what i think needs to be done as long as it achieved what he wanted it to look like. Its much better way of working, rather than having someone constantly poking in your screen and telling you how to do your job. You tell me what you want, and i'll decide HOW to do it.
Surprisingly enough i managed to do a bit of auto-pilot (whilst zoning out in front of TV) knitting on Christmas Cobblestone, its about 30% done. I think it has a lot to do with me looving to knit with Bamboo tape, its so soft and yummy.
I also did some yarn hand-painting on Sunday with some food dyes. I have fixed it afterwards by steaming it for 20 mins and letting it cool in the steamer before washing it. My inspiration was autumn
Its incredible how bright it turned out, im very happy with that. Its a shame this wool is so scratchy, i need to get some nice merino to experiment with.

Another Friday

Im tired today, tired and sort of .. melancholic. Unity was up pretty much throughout the night and was very grumpy in the morning... It was sad i didnt get to say goodbye to her properly because my mother is picking them both tonight and keeping them for a weekend, because we have to work Sat and probably Sunday. It is gonna be Unity's first weekend way and im worried sick how she will react to the whole thing.. I have packed enough clothes to last them at least a week without changing and tried to foresee every eventuality, getting all sorts of food and drinks and snacks and Calpol and dummies and blankies , you get the idea. Its weird, because im usually quite calm about my children, like i dont drop everything and run everytime there is some scuffle or fall, unless it sound really serious. And here i am, literally making myself ill because my baby is going to her grandma's for 2 nights. Like my mother said, its gonna be how its gonna be. And breathe...
So we were supposed to get these "extremely important deadline Tuesday morning" images and guess what, we are still sitting twiddling our thumbs ( well im writing this blog of course) and nothing is happening because photographers are probably most unreliable people on the planet (oh, and art directors, they may be worse, its a close one) so we are not getting any images until tomorrow morning. And that means we will have to work Sunday, and so no ironing done, or cooking or any proper knitting time for that matter... Why do i do this job anyway, someone remind me...
I managed to get Nicola, my colleague, interested in yarn dyeing and she loves the idea. Being wonderful as she is she go me and herself a book on natural dye plants, called A Dyers Garden by Rita Buchanan. Nicola is a keen gardener and i like the idea of gardening, never having time to do any. But next year i will (i will i will i will ) have a vegetable garden and at least a couple of dye plants. Now its just how to convince Colin to allocate some space for me in our 150' garden... Last time i spoke with him about it he frowned and said i could have the 5' patch between garage and shed. To which i meaningfully and articulately told him that i'm planning to plant p-o-t-a-t-o-e-s and need s-p-a-c-e. He frowned some more and said he'll think about it. So i guess i just have to remind him every week or so before the planting time comes. And im so looking forward to my yarn spinning class, its gonna be my birthday present for myself. Month later than the birthday, but hey, better late than never.

Dear Photographers

Dear Photographers!
Be nice to your retouchers!
If you are, if you bring us cookies and fruit, make us tea and ask us questions about our children, not to mention treat us to some nice hip hop or a latest CGI blockbuster update time to time, we will love you back. We will come towards you with outstretched arms and hug you and ask you about your mum's health. We will show you the latest thing in the nerdy world we call ours. But most importantly, we will make your pictures great. We will take pride in getting that last colour separation sorted, gently balancing out the skin, we will make the best mask for the hair and we will follow you on your brief and more, oh yeah, much more. We will turn your editorial into a Dior advertising campaign worth.
But if you are not... We will follow your brief. We will even smile at you and make you some tea. But dont expect any creative suggestions. No expertise for you. And when you turn around and ask - "Why my pictures look like THAT?" We will calmly reply : "This is what you wanted, this is to your brief. This is the before and after. If there is anything else you'd like me to do, you are more than welcome." And watch you trying to make the best out of your lack of ideas.
So, dear photographers, remember, retouchers are important part of your work. We are like expensive equipment. So treat us with respect and care and you'll get it right back.

Friday 13

Today as it happens is my sister's birthday, she is 26. I have invited her and her husband to mine for dinner on Sunday, im making my famous chicken lime and ginger hotpot. Im also gonna make a cake today, a carrot cake, partly because i was requested to do so by our wonderful adopted grandma Unity, and partly because it really is the easiest cake to make. I think i might make the icing green this time.
I finally have taken some pictures of my Drops Top, which is so close to completion it hurts. Even though i didn't do any knitting last night because Heroes was on. And what a splendid episode it was indeed! Absolutely mind bogging. I think Heroes is my favorite show EVER. It just responds to everything i have dreamed of when i was a little (and a bit nerdy) girl.
Anyway, back to Drops Top



that is how it looks now. Im a little unclear on how to dec the armholes, but hey, what the worst that can happen, i just might have to redo it couple of times.

And of course my main occupation: another day another young mediocre model needs to be made to look like she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Its funny, someone asked me once - does it bother you to look at these beautiful girls day after day, does it make you feel inferior? And you know what - it really doesn't. Nobody's perfect thats what i say. In all my 8 years of retouching i have not seen an absolutely perfect woman. There is always things that can be done to make someone appear better. So perfect - now thats just a made up term. Perfect is just what any one person at one time considers attractive, the symbiosis of proportions, light, shadow, colour and tone. I had one photographer shouting "i hate boobs! Take those things off her!!" about a 14 year model with hardly anything that even vaguely reminded of "boobs". I have completely reshaped human face, not only changing the proportion of the existing face, but "comping" bits from other faces, not even the same girl. As a matter of fact, i have created a completely different persons from bits of other people, all in the name of perfection. So really, im happy with the way i am. And if im not- well gym is just around the corner.

Today i pretty much succeeded in doing no work at all, just looking at pretty pictures of knitting projects and salivating over yarns on ebay. I have this urge to buy yarn, a lot of yarn, and trying to justify it by constantly looking for patterns i can knit.

Oh, and my Drop Tank is coming along nicely, i'm up to armpits now and have not made any mistakes so yoohoo, soon i will rule the world.. or was it finish the top..

I suspect my husband does not share my enthusiasm for knitting. I got that feeling whilst telling him about the next project im planning, that involves the famous Missoni yarn and that other pretty shiny purple yarn that i got from Not Just Yarn on ebay. May be it was that look of a desperate boredom that was written all over his face.. or may be it was the fact that he tried to change the subject to ferns that still haven't been delivered from the plant nursery.

And now i have to get back to this guys photos, and not to be blunt or anything, id rather gnaw my own leg off than look at this amateur crap again...Some so called photographers should just give up. I mean, i fell asleep twice, hitting my head on the graphic tablet. Twice!!